His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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