I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
