Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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