At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you inspire me to be a worse person
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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