So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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