i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
