Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
