Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
