I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
