I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
