why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
