ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
