HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
