Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
