I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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