We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
