Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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