I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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