Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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