What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
