Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
