so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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