ya dads aren't the best wingmen
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
