SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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