So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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