Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
