fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
