Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
