After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
