where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
