All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am naked and annoyed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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