Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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