Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
