Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What a dumb baby whore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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