You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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