So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
