dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
