She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize