we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This toilet bowl is my home.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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