I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize