I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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