They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
