I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
