I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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