Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
