i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
