Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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