Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
