I think I am morally bankrupt
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
