dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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