you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
