then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
