I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
