He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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