We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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