I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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