We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
nutella sex= disaster
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
