Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
