how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
