I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
