guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
