It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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